crap that dave sings

to the tune of "Billie Jean"

"Jimmy Dean is not my lover. He just makes sausages that I eat all the time. There's a food baby on the way...."

because kids are....aliens?

Jessica: kids drink free at Caribou today!

Dave: What about people?

Jessica: (laughing) No, people have to pay

Dave: DANG!

instead of a bathroom, it's a pile of garbage

Dave: are we on a standoff to see who will take out the bathroom trash?

Jessica: oops! no, I was going to take it out after I vacuumed and I forgot.

Dave: oh, I see we have just started using the floor as the trash bin, so as soon as that fills up, I'm sure one of us will take care of it....

umm....thanks?

Misquoting a Weird Al song:

"Jessica, I have to tell you something. You make the sunrise look like a big shining turd.....because you are so beautiful."

give me some space

Jessica: you have to give me some of the work bench when you clean it off, for my gardening stuff.

Dave: I'm not giving you any of it! Ok, you can have a quarter of it. Did I say a quarter? I meant a CORNER. You can have a corner.

a little later...

Dave: I'll give you some of the work bench if you give me some of that laundry table downstairs

Jessica: What are you going to put on that laundry table??

Dave: Lots of stuff

Jessica: Like what?

Dave: my kermit phone for starters. I'm going to come up with so much stuff to put on that table, it's going to blow your mind!

the dog days

While watching ALIAS

"Jack and Sloane back together again like old dogs. Speaking of old dogs, do yourself a favor and watch that movie. But only if you want to laugh really hard. It's up to you."

geography 101

While watching ALIAS

Jessica: Where are they right now? I missed it.

Dave: Shanghai Berlin

Jessica: Those are two cities, in completely different countries

Dave: Hmm.......agree to disagree