the toots

Jessica: Why would anyone want to just sit and watch you play video games? That sounds super boring.

Dave: Some guys like to do that

Jessica: I dont get it.

Dave: Can I be real honest with you? It's like watching a professional athlete in his element. I dont mean to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT.

bombs away

While driving...

Jessica: Whoa!

Dave: What?

Jessica: Check out that big helicopter!

Dave: Whoa, I've never seen one like that. I hope they don't bomb half price books. I like that store.

squatchy

Jessica: man, aren't you going to be sad when you get to heaven and realize there really was no such thing as Big Foot. Except there are no tears in heaven so you'll just be all "oh, ok"

Dave: No way! I'll be all "oh look, there's Big Foot laying down with the lion and the lamb!"


and later....


Laurie: Dave, keep your eyes peeled for Big Foot!

Dave: That's like telling me to breathe, Laurie.

reasons

Jessica: You're lucky I know my way around Maple Grove

Dave: I know! It's the second reason I married you. #1 reason: your smokin' hot bod. #2: your knowledge of Maple Grove. I always thought to myself 'man, we'll fly around that town!'

game on

Dave: Guess what flavor Doritos they have in Idaho

Jessica: Potato?

Dave: No, it's a staple we have around here

Jessica: Beets?........Pickles?

Dave: Pickle Doritos?? Jessica.....get your head in the game!!

birthday wish

Dave: Oh and I need to get some more coffee today

Jessica: Rustica coffee??

Dave: Oh man, I wish! That's like gift coffee

A bit later

Jessica: What do you want to do for your birthday this year?

Dave: I dont know....dunk my head in a vat of Rustica coffee...

blubber

"I really need a bar of soap. I'm tired of squirting body wash in my hand and trying to lather up. I feel like I've been half getting clean for like a week.......I'm ready to make a bar out of my own fat"