Talking to Max:

"We are not supposed to shout 'butts' at the dinner table. We can shout 'butts' later."

"Variety is the spice of life, babe."

"Daddy's belly button is not a play thing!"

Dave: I should do that....

Jessica: What, be a neurosurgeon?

Dave: Yeah, I'd be awesome at it, great eye -hand coordination. I mean....I fall asleep playing video games, but....

When Dave mentioned eating breakfast at Chick-Fil-A:

Jessica: That sounds like a heart attack

Dave: That sounds like a pleasure attack!

"I just want to dance on a guitar shaped bar."

"Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while."