"I've got Olive's hot breath on my toes and you talking my ear off, just give me two seconds!"

"There's a lot of money in fragrances, I think."

"It's a dark day in radio when I stop and listen to Snow Patrol."

Dave: Did you hear Olive snoring last night?

Jessica: No, but I heard her barfing this morning

Dave: Oh man, I get so jazzed when I hear that. I just know it's going to be a great day.

after trying to fix the alarm clock several times:

"If the alarm goes off now, we'll know the devil has control of this alarm clock!!"

"Hey! We are trying to rest in peace over here......not in a dead sort of way...."

"I like my water how I like my pizza......day old!"