thankfully he was talking to the dog

"wanna lick the sea salt out of my beard?"

the stinky truth

Dave: You smell good

Jessica: Really? I haven't even showered yet today

Dave: Well, you smell like soup. And I'm hungry.

word to the wise

"You don't achieve world domination without getting some stains on your pants"

pre-order

Jessica: I'm going to send you an email with my birthday wish list and then you can pass it along to whoever needs an idea ok?

Dave: Ok, but I already pre-ordered your gift because it doesn't come out until Oct 25th.

Jessica: You did?! What is it??

Dave: Captain America: The First Avenger.................you're welcome.

sit. stay.

Dave: You need to slow your roll. You are supposed to be sitting around eating bon bons.

Jessica: What are bon bons exactly?

Dave: I don't know, but when you figure out what they are, sit around and eat them!

to throw or not to throw

Jessica: This pineapple is rotten I think. What do you think? Should I just throw it away?? I dont feel good about that

Dave: Just throw it. What if you dropped an egg on the ground, would you feel bad throwing it away?

Jessica: An egg is not the same thing as a pineapple!!

Dave: I'm pretty sure we can get another one. A pineapple is not a precious resource!

super chill

Dave: You need to calm down

Jessica: YOU need to calm down

Dave: Oh, I'm calm. I'm so calm you can just call me the Rainbow knock off soda "super chill"