Jessica: We are in a fight

Dave: We sure are. You don't even know the tune to "Mmmbop" !

" I want to wear these jean shorts for the rest of my life. I want to die in these jean shorts."

"There are some things you can skimp on. Jimmy Dean sausage is not one of them. I feel like you could put that on my tombstone."

Everyone loves homemade caramels. You are with the terrorists if you don't.

To Max

"Please don't scratch my eyeballs out. I only have two."

" I'm a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll."