talking about potatoes

"and then they will be salty, wrinkly and good. Just like me when I'm old."

"FYI, if our house is on fire it is not going to smell like Nicaraguan coffee!"

Jessica: You're such a Scrooge when it comes to Christmas cards.

Dave: You know what Scrooge had in the bank?! MONEY. You know what we have in the bank? Nothing!